Consume Page 3

  “I wish you could hear me right now, because I really need your advice.” I stroked the back of her thin, limp hand as I stared up at her face. She looked so serene right then, and even though it was medically induced, I was still thankful for the small amount of time she got to escape the constant storm swirling around in her head.

  “I got offered a job,” I continued, used to the one-sided conversations. “It’s actually a dream job. But I’m not sure I should take it.” I thought back to the conversation I’d had with Tate and Gwen a few days ago, and remembered their excitement as they tried talking me into taking the position of personal assistant for Civil Corruption. It felt unreal, too good to be true, and in my experience, things usually felt that way because they were. I’d learned the hard way never to hope for too much, because if things seemed to be looking up, that meant I only had farther to fall once they all came crashing down again.

  And they always came crashing down again. That was just the way my life worked.

  “The money the job pays would help more than you could ever know,” I admitted sheepishly. “It might even help to get you into somewhere nicer. But the thing is, there’s this guy… I don’t even know how to explain it, really. It was just one time, and he’s kind of a jerk. I know I shouldn’t like him, but I can’t help it. He’s totally wrong for me, and way out of my league.” I let out a quiet self-deprecating laugh. “Maybe that’s why I like him so much, you think? I mean, let’s face it. I’ve always had pretty terrible taste when it came to picking guys. Remember how we used to joke that I got that from you?”

  I squeezed her hand and waited, praying I’d get something, anything from her even though I knew in my gut that it was pointless. The medication was too strong. And even if she’d been awake, she wouldn’t have responded. She hadn’t recognized me in years. The beautiful woman who had once been my mother was now just a hollow shell of her former self. And the doctors were no help. I’d gotten sick of hearing how my mother’s case was so rare that it stumped every medical professional we’d come across. I’d all but given up believing she was somewhere in there, listening to me.

  “I just don’t know if I can do it, Mom. I don’t know if I can work for him and risk seeing him every day. You always said I was too much of a romantic for my own good, and Killian is the farthest thing from a romantic. I’m not sure he’s ever been in a real relationship. I’d just be setting myself up for disaster.” I stopped and took in a slow breath. “He’s not for me. A man like that isn’t for me. So why can’t I stop thinking about him, Momma?”

  I dropped my head, letting my sadness take over. It wasn’t something I allowed myself to do all that often. For the most part, I kept it bottled up and pretended that everything in my life was just fine. But sometimes keeping things in for too long could be even more damaging, so I’d learned to let myself feel every once and a while. Just never for too long. I’d also learned that letting myself wallow would lead to a spiraling depression that was almost impossible to pull myself out of.

  After all, sorrow was nothing if not a double-edged sword.

  “I wish you could tell me what to do,” I whispered as one lone tear trailed down my cheek. As I did every time I visited my mother, I allowed myself a few minutes to grieve the loss of a woman who was still alive but would never be the same. Once I finished, I sniffed and wiped my cheek.

  Placing a kiss on her soft cheek, I said, “Love you, Momma. I’ll see you again soon.”

  “Ms. Ivory?” A woman spoke my name as I started down the hall toward the exit. “Ms. Ivory, could I have a second of your time?” I stopped and turned to find Fran, the head of the billing department, scurrying my way. A visit with Fran was never a good sign, and cold dread set into my bones as she came to a stop in front of me.

  “Hi, Fran. How are you?”

  “I’m good.” She fidgeted with her horn-rimmed glasses for a second, clearly uncomfortable with whatever it was she needed to talk to me about. “I wish we were speaking under better circumstances, but I’m afraid… well, it seems that your check for this month bounced.”

  The blood slowly drained from my face as humiliation set in. “That can’t be right. I just transferred the funds last week.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she replied. “Maybe there was an error on the bank’s end? We can give you three days to pay, but after that, I’m afraid—”

  “I’ll take care of it.” I didn’t need her to finish that sentence. If I didn’t get the money to them in three days they were going to put my mom out, and I couldn’t allow that. After her stroke, I’d tried my best to take care of her myself, but it was just too much. She needed round-the-clock care, and I couldn’t afford to stay home with her to provide that. Not to mention the fits and the uncontrollable rages. The sad truth was, I wasn’t fit to take care my own mother. She needed Whispering Pines.

  “I’ll have the money to you in three days’ time.”

  Fran’s shoulders dropped with visible relief, and the pity in her expression melted away.

  Out of all the things I hated about my life, that had to be the one thing I hated most of all. The pitying glances or sympathetic smiles. They were enough to make me want to scream. I’d worked too hard not to feel sorry for myself, so I couldn’t stand it when other people did.

  “That’s good, dear. Now you go and enjoy the rest of your day.”

  Not likely. “Thanks, Fran. Same to you.”

  I got out of there as quickly as I possibly could, rushing through the parking lot to my car. It was only once I was safely closed inside that I let go of the precarious grip I had on my control and allowed myself to break down at this latest turn of shitty luck.

  “Damn it!” I shouted, banging my palms against the steering wheel as I sobbed. “Damn it, damn it, damn it! What do I have to do, huh?” I yelled toward the Heavens. “What do you want from me? Can’t I get a fucking break just once?”

  As if some higher power had been looking down on me just then, my cell phone rang. I dug it out of my purse and wiped at my eyes so I could see the name on the display clearly.

  “Hey, Tate,” I croaked, my throat too raw to hide that I’d been crying and screaming. To anyone looking in, I probably looked like a girl in the midst of a psychotic break. Well, the joke was on them, because I pretty much was. “Now’s not really a good time—”

  “Are you okay?” she demanded, her concern for me palpable, even through the phone line.

  “I’m fine,” I lied. “I think I’m just coming down with a cold or something.”

  “Okay,” she replied skeptically, but thankfully let it drop. “Look, I know you said it’s not a good time, and I won’t keep you, but I just wanted to try and talk you into taking this job one more time. I know I’m being a pushy pain in the ass, but I really need you, Gina. You’d be helping me out of a—”

  “I’ll take it,” I spoke over her. The latest turn of events had created a desperation that left a sickening taste in my mouth. The decision had been taken out of my hands. This job she was offering me was now necessary. Consequences and Killian Everett be damned.

  “You will?” she squeaked in happy surprise.

  There was a strong possibility that I’d end up regretting the decision tremendously, but I’d officially run out of options. My mom’s well-being depended on it. And I needed money if I had any hopes of taking care of her.

  “Yeah. I will. But I need to ask a pretty huge favor first.”

  “Anything. Just name it. You’re the one saving my ass, after all.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip, ashamed that it had come down to this. “Do you think it would be possible to get an advance on my first paycheck?”

  She was silent for so long that I began to worry she might say no. “G, are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m good. I just had some unexpected expenses pop up, and what I make at Bernie’s isn’t enough to cover it.” God, I felt lower than low. I was a grown woman who couldn’t take care of myself or the
one person who depended on me.

  “Babe, you know I’m always here, right? If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

  “I know,” I whispered as shame coursed through my blood. “But I don’t want a handout. It would just be a loan. I’d pay it back, plus interest.”

  “Gina, you’re my friend. Friends don’t accumulate interest.”

  Squeezing my eyes closed, I struggled to hold back the next wave of tears looming. “Please, Tate. It has to be like this. I can’t accept your money any other way.”

  “Okay,” she answered hesitantly. “If that’s what you need, consider it a loan. But don’t expect me to tack on interest or give you a payment schedule. You pay me back whenever and however much you can.”

  “Thank you,” I said on a sigh. The knot that had formed in my stomach as I walked out of Whispering Pines slowly started to uncoil. It wasn’t the most ideal answer to my dilemma, but it would have to do.

  “Okay, so about the job….”

  And so it began.

  Chapter Five

  Killian

  I took the stairs down to Garrett’s home studio feeling like death run over. I’d been up way too fucking late the night before, trying like I had every night for the past few weeks to fuck Gina out of my head. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working. Every pussy I buried my dick in acutely felt like second best. Every woman I ate and licked barely tasted half as good as she did. And every moan and whimper and scream grated on my ears.

  It had been one night, one fucking night, and that devil woman had ruined me for anyone else.

  The night before had been the last straw. The first time I got off, my eyes had been squeezed shut tight, Gina’s face front and center behind my eyelids as I emptied myself into the condom. That had been it. I’d decided no more. I was ending that goddamn obsession right then and there. So I spent the next several hours with a woman whose name I couldn’t even remember, getting sucked and fucked to within an inch of my life, just to prove to myself that I could blow for someone other than her.

  It hadn’t worked. Every time I came, I did it with Gina in mind. Her face was all I could see; her soft, creamy skin and tight, slick cunt were all I could feel. It was the only way I could get off.

  Scraping the chick off this morning had been damn near impossible. I’d been so determined in my task the night before that she’d gotten it in her head that she was the one I couldn’t get enough of. Nothing could’ve been further from the truth.

  Pulling the shades from my face, I hooked one of the arms over the collar of my shirt so they rested against my chest. “Anyone wanna explain to me why we gotta meet at the ass crack of dawn?” I grumbled as I snagged a bottle of water from the mini fridge Garrett kept stocked and threw myself down in one of the overstuffed recliners.

  “Ten in the morning is hardly the ass crack of dawn, shithead.”

  I flipped Garrett off and propped my feet on the coffee table. “Says the bastard who’s got a toddler that wakes him up at seven on the regular. You got an internal alarm clock, brother. I don’t. Cut me some slack.” I took in the rest of the guys hanging around the enormous studio. Mace didn’t look any better off than I did, and I knew from experience that his pain came more from booze than sex. Or maybe a combo of both, but the dude was definitely hungover, that was for damn sure. Declan looked as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as Garrett, but that was to be expected since he’d cleaned up his act in an attempt to get Tate back.

  “Where’s Tater tot, anyway? Isn’t this supposed to be her gig?”

  “She had to make a stop to pick someone up,” Declan answered. “She should be here soon.”

  “Pick someone up?” My brows drew low in confusion. “Who the hell’s she gotta pick up?”

  Mace, whose arm was thrown over his eyes as he sprawled out on the couch, answered, “Our new assistant, apparently.”

  “She finally hired someone? Hell yeah!” I crowed. “I hope it was that chick with the big titties who offered to let me—”

  “It’s definitely not her,” Tate snapped, her top lip curled in disgust as she hit the base of the stairs. “And you’re a pig. Can you just do the world a favor and keep your dick in your damn pants?”

  I shot her a wink and blew a kiss. “Hard to do when it’s the world beggin’ me to whip it out, baby.” Declan reached over and landed a sharp jab to my arm. “Ow! Son of a bitch, that hurt.”

  He didn’t say anything, just gave me a look that spoke to how badly he was going to murder me if I kept disrespecting his girl.

  “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll behave.” I looked back at Tate, who’d just finished rolling her eyes, and asked, “So who’d you hire?”

  She stepped to the side and waved at the mouth of the staircase with a flourish. “Ta-da!” she shouted, revealing Gina who stood there like a deer caught in headlights. “Gina’s gonna be your new assistant! Isn’t that great?”

  Oh fuck no.

  No fucking way!

  “Are you serious?”

  “Think about it,” Tate carried on. “You guys know her. She knows you. You already know she’s trustworthy. It’s the perfect solution!”

  Like hell it is.

  A few seconds later Garrett threw his two cents in. “You know, this might actually work,” the asshole stated. “She’s already part of our circle, and since she’s so tight with Tate, Gwen, and Corrie, she’s practically family.” He turned to look back at us all. “Which means she’s basically off-limits to all you pecker heads, so we don’t have to worry about another Kimber situation.”

  “True,” Declan chimed.

  Son of a bitch. This was not good. Not good at all. It was your classic rock and hard place scenario. If I told the guys she couldn’t be our assistant because I’d already fucked her, they’d cut my balls off and feed them to me. If I didn’t give them a reason, they’d veto my opinion on the basis of me just being an asshole. But if she worked with us, I was pretty sure all hell would break loose. She’d been in the room for all of five seconds and my dick was already hard just thinking about all the things I wanted to do to her. Christ, I could still taste her: the sweetest ambrosia, like sugar and sin mixed together. There was no way I wasn’t going to have her again if we were forced together on our upcoming tour. I’d been avoiding her like the plague for weeks for that very reason.

  When I looked in her direction, I noticed her cheeks shining pinker than normal. No one who hadn’t seen her naked and coming underneath them would have notice such a miniscule change, but I did. Another thing I noticed was that she hadn’t met my eyes once since she stepped foot into the room. She’d been mindful to look at any and everyone but me. And that pissed me right the hell off.

  I’d seen every single inch of her there was, and she wouldn’t even fucking look at me? What the hell was up with that?

  “Trust me,” Gina started, “you have absolutely nothing to worry about there.”

  The hell is that supposed to mean?

  “Then I think we’re good,” Declan added. “What about you guys?”

  I shrugged, knowing I really didn’t have a damn choice in the matter. At least not right there in front of the guys and Tate. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do everything in my power to make Thumbelina so miserable she’d quit all on her own. Hopefully then my life would finally get back to normal.

  “Sounds good to me,” Mace said, rolling to his feet. “If we got that settled, I’m going home and getting back in bed.”

  Shortly after that, Garrett kicked everyone else out so he could spend some time with his family.

  The group started up the stairs, but I caught Gina’s arm before she could escape, holding her back in the studio until everybody else was out of earshot.

  She initially focused on my large fingers wrapped around her little arm, and by the time she looked back up at me, she had a mask of defiance firmly in place, but it was too late. I’d felt the jolt her body gave at my touch, and I could see her pupils growing
darker. She wasn’t as immune as she pretended to be.

  “What are you doing?” she hissed on a whisper. “Let go.”

  “No fuckin’ way you’re gonna be our assistant, sweetness. Might as well break the news to Tatum now before she gets too invested.”

  She tugged harder at her arm, causing my grip to grow even tighter. “I’m not quitting,” she snarled, mindful to keep her voice down. “And let. Me. Go.”

  “Not until you agree to quit this goddamn job that you never should’ve taken.”

  “That isn’t going to happen! And I deserve this job just as much as the next person. Sorry that it wasn’t Big Tits McBlowjob who got the position, but you’ll just have to swallow down your disappointment. It’s mine and I’m keeping it!”

  I moved closer, crowding her against the wall, a huge mistake on my part. The sweet scent of her perfume wafted up and invading my senses. Doing my best to push the acute desire back down, I kept going. “I don’t let women I’ve fucked work for me,” I growled.

  “Since when?” she pushed back. “’Cause from what I hear, the four of you passed your old assistant around more than a bong at a freaking frat party!”

  A smirk stretched across my face as I lowered my voice. “Consider that a lesson learned. No pussy’s worth the drama that comes with it. Now, you gonna quit or not?”

  That mask of Gina’s slipped just enough for me to see a bone-deep worry in her eyes I hadn’t been expecting. But before I could question what I was seeing, she slammed it firmly back into place. “I need this job, Killian, and I’m not gonna let you scare me out of it. And since you and I are never sleeping together again, it doesn’t even matter.”

  I leaned in close enough for my breath to brush against the sensitive skin of her neck. Her chest hitched with a heavy inhale, and I knew I had her right where I wanted her. “Don’t be so sure of that, sweetness. I can be pretty damn persuasive when I want to. I think you know that.”