Charming Fiona Read online

  “Yeah, well can you blame her? She’s so adorable she totally deserves it.”

  Deacon’s eyes came back to me as he managed to extract his finger and take a few steps back. “Can’t argue that.”

  The silence started to spread again, and I couldn’t take it anymore. “So how have you been?” I asked, blurting out the first words that popped into my head.

  “Good. I’ve been good. You?”

  “Good. Yeah, me too. All good here.”

  Jeez, any moment now we were going to start talking about the weather or economy, or something equally boring and trite. I bounced Evie on my hip and started rocking side to side, to keep her calm and to give myself something to do.

  “Leah seems really nice.” I don’t know why I said that, why I mentioned the woman. The words just poured out.

  “She is.”

  Kill me.

  I somehow managed to force supportive words out past the bitterness coating my tongue. “Great! That’s great. I’m glad. Things seem really… great between you two.” If I said great one more damn time I was going to kick my own ass.

  “Yeah. She’s great. We’re great.”

  “Good,” I croaked. “That’s really good.”

  Well, at least I didn’t say great again.

  He didn’t respond, and I started to fidget under the intensity of his stare. Once again, my mouth opened and words fell out of their own volition.

  “This is weird. God, why is this so weird? I hate how weird this is. Does it feel weird for you too?” For God’s sake, Fiona, stop saying the word weird! Squeezing my eyes closed, I gave my head a vicious shake. “Sorry, sorry. Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I just….”

  “Just what?”

  My eyes shot open and I gave a small, startled jump at the close proximity of his voice.

  He was so close that I could see the flecks of gold in his brown eyes, so close that I couldn’t form a single thought. “Sorry?”

  “Finish what you were saying, Fee. Just what?”

  The golf ball–sized knot in my throat made it almost impossible to speak, but somehow I managed. “I just miss you,” I stated on a hushed whisper. “I miss you, Deacon. You were the most important person in my life and I lost you… twice. I hate that. I hate how things are between us. And I know it’s all my fault. I know I screwed up, Deacon—” He opened his mouth to cut me off, but I held up a hand to stop him and kept going, knowing I wouldn’t have the nerve again to say what I’d been needing to say for over a year now.

  “I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, and if Leah makes you happy and treats you how you deserve to be treated, then I’m thrilled for you. I lost my chance with you. That’s on me, a hundred percent. I’ll accept that and move on because I know, deep down in my gut, I know that you deserve the absolute best, Deacon. But I miss hanging out and having fun with you. I’d do anything to get that back. I know I don’t have the right to ask, but if you could find it in you to one day forgive me, I’d be over the moon. Because not having you in my life at all is worse than any pain I’ve ever experienced.”

  By the time I finished my speech, tears burned the backs of my eyes. Thankfully I managed to blink them away. My throat was ravaged with emotion, but I’d finally garnered the courage to say what needed to be said.

  Deacon’s chest rose and fell with quick, heavy breaths. His eyes flashed and glinted with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but whatever it was, my gut told me that it was important.

  His hand came up. I thought he was reaching for the baby again, but his fingers landed on my cheek, tracing gently to my temple where he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “There’s nothing to forgive,” he said in a soft yet gruff voice. “And I’ve missed you too.”

  The relief was overwhelming. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. Either way, I felt like a year’s worth of weight had been lifted off my chest. My lips parted to speak when another voice pierced through our moment, shattering the familiar connection I felt forming between the two of us.

  “Deacon?”

  Damn. Damn, damn, damn, son of a bitch in heat.

  Deacon cleared his throat and turned to his girlfriend. “Leah.”

  Leah’s face was marred by a severe frown as she looked back and forth between the two of us. Her words were clipped as she asked, “Am I interrupting something?”

  I could only imagine what it looked like: Deacon standing close, his fingers at my jaw as we stared into each other’s eyes. We probably looked like something out of a chick flick. The relief I’d experienced just moments before was quickly replaced with a gnawing guilt. I’d already caused Deacon more grief than he deserved, the last thing I wanted was to create a rift between him and his girlfriend—whether I liked her or not. He cared about her and was happy. I couldn’t ruin that.

  “No,” I answered quickly, taking two large steps back. “Evie tangled her fist up in my hair. Deac was just helping me before I was left with a massive bald spot.” The smile I gave her felt forced and brittle.

  Her eyes shone with suspicion and antipathy before she disregarded me completely and looked back to Deacon. “Baby, I’m starting to get a headache.”

  Fifty bucks said her head was perfectly fine.

  “All right. Let’s get you home.”

  My chest grew tighter and tighter with every step he took away from me, but I made sure the plastic smile stayed in place. The second Deacon made it to her, Leah threw an arm around his waist and cuddled into his side like she could no longer walk without his assistance.

  She gazed up at him adoringly. “Thank you, honey. You always take such good care of me.”

  Gag.

  I managed to hold back the puke and offered politely, “Oh no. I hope you feel better, Leah.”

  “Thanks,” she replied in a saccharin-sweet tone that was as real as her tan. It was winter in Seattle, for god’s sake. No one who lived here was that tan. Not naturally, anyway. “Have a good night.”

  Deacon looked at me over his shoulder and smiled as Leah started guiding him from the room. “See you soon, Fee.”

  “Yeah, Deac,” I muttered at his back as he disappeared from my sight. Evie cooed, drawing my attention to her. “Well, at least that’s something, right?”

  “Boo. Gah!” A string of drool dribbled down her chin.

  I decided to take that as her agreement.

  “I’ll eventually get used to seeing him with someone else, right?”

  “Bah! Bah!”

  I cuddled her against my chest and began swaying side to side. “Learn from Aunt Fee, baby girl. When you meet the man of your dreams, hold tight and never let go. Ever.”

  In response, Evie reached up and gripped my hair tightly.

  I grinned down at her cute face. “That’s right, angel. Just like that.”

  Chapter Four

  Fiona

  Ten years old

  The final bell rang and I bolted from my desk, hooking my backpack over my shoulders in my hurry to escape. The kids in my class were jerks. And Katy Pierson was the biggest jerk of all. I didn’t want to go to that stupid school and have to see any of their stupid faces anymore.

  Instead of walking home like I was supposed to, I made my way to the Lockharts’, rounding the side of their house to head into the woods beyond their backyard.

  It had taken us all summer, but Deacon and I managed to build the most awesome tree house in history back in those woods. Nobody knew about it but us, and it was the only place I wanted to be right then.

  The ground was layered with dead leaves that crunched under my Keds as I wound my way through the trees. I followed the path that Deacon and I had made by trudging back and forth to our secret hideout for the past several months. I knew the way by heart but still made sure to pay close attention to everything around me. Deacon had warned me that it was easy to get lost out here. He was always worrying about me like that. He was my best friend and looked out for
me like nobody else could.

  I dropped my backpack to the ground when our tree house came into view, then climbed the ladder up to my sanctuary. It wasn’t until I was inside that I let myself cry over the hurtful words and laughs.

  I didn’t know how long I’d been up there by myself when the boards started to creak. With a sniffle, I swiped at the tears on my face and looked toward the opening just as Deacon came into view. His too-long hair hung down in his eyes, and his cheeks were pink from the chilly temperature.

  “I’ve been lookin’ for you. You were supposed to come to my house after school. Why’re you up here all by yourself?” He settled in beside me and finally looked over to study my face. His forehead wrinkled with a frown as he leaned in closer. “Are you crying?”

  Wiping under my nose with the back of my hand, I hugged my knees tight to my chest. “No.”

  “Liar.”

  Sometimes having Deacon as a best friend was a real pain in the butt. He knew me too well, so I could never get away with lying.

  “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “You have to talk about it,” he demanded. “If you don’t, I won’t know who’s butt to kick for hurting your feelings.” Deacon bumped his shoulder with mine. “Come on, Fee. What happened?”

  “It’s….” More tears started to trail down my face. “It’s stupid. The whole thing is stupid.”

  “It’s not stupid if it made you sad.”

  God, I was lucky to have Deacon. Sometimes I forgot how great he was, but then he acted all sweet and reminded me why he was my best friend. “It was Katy Pierson. She was makin’ fun of me today.”

  Deacon’s expression pinched with anger. “That girl’s a bitch.”

  I let out a tiny giggle at the sound of that bad word coming from his mouth. “You know your mom’s gonna wash your mouth out with soap again if she hears you sayin’ stuff like that.” I shouldn’t have bothered with my warning. He’d eaten soap more times than I could count already, and it hadn’t stopped him from cursing yet.

  “Well it’s true,” he said with a shrug. “She’s a spoiled little brat. What’d she say to you?”

  Remembering what had happened made my skin burn with embarrassment, and I couldn’t help but start crying all over again. “Sh-she said I was ugly. That all redheads were ugly, but that I was even uglier because I had bony chicken legs. She said it in front of the whole class, and everyone laughed like she was the funniest person in the world.”

  His arm came up and circled my shoulders, pulling me into his side as he spoke. “You’re not ugly, Fee. You’re the prettiest girl in that whole school. Katy Pierson’s just stupid and jealous ’cause she knows she’ll never be as pretty as you.”

  I sniffled and lifted my watery gaze to his. “You really think I’m pretty?”

  He let out a loud snort that filled the entire tree house. “Are you for real? You’re super pretty!”

  My face stretched into a smile so big my cheeks started to hurt. “Thanks, Deac. You’re awesome.”

  “I know,” he teased, bumping me again before letting his arm fall away. “You’re awesome too. I know that because you’re my best friend, and I won’t be friends with anyone who’s not awesome.”

  I giggled and shoved at him playfully.

  “I love you around the world and back again. You’re my best friend.”

  He replied the same way he always did for as long as I could remember. It was our thing. “You’re my best friend too, Fee. And I love you to Jupiter and back again. Now can we get the heck outta here? I’m freezing my balls off, and Mom’s making cookies.”

  With a roll of my eyes, I headed for the ladder. Deacon liked to talk and act older than he really was, but he did it in a way that made him sound cool. All the other boys at school tried to copy everything Deac did, but none of them were able to pull it off like he was.

  “You know, you shouldn’t talk like that around girls,” I scolded, repeating what I’d heard my mom say before, as I started climbing down. “My mom said that boys should be respectful and courteous whenever they’re around a lad—”

  My words were cut off when the board beneath my feet snapped. I hit the ground before I even realized I was falling. It knocked the air out of me, and I landed on my left arm in a really bad way. A pain worse than anything I’d ever felt shot from my wrist to my elbow.

  “Crap. Fiona!” Deacon jumped from the ladder, landing like a ninja before rushing to my side. “Are you okay?”

  “M-my arm,” I croaked, holding my left arm to my chest protectively while a fresh wave of tears blurred my vision. “It hurts.”

  “Shh, I got you. It’s okay. I’m here.”

  I’d never heard Deacon’s voice sound like that before. It was soft, and full of worry, but I was in too much pain to process it. He carefully helped me from the ground and slung my good arm around his shoulders. “Come on, lean on me and I’ll get you to the house.”

  I let him take most of my weight as he began guiding me through the woods. “The tree house,” I stated once we were about halfway. “Your mom’s gonna be so mad. She’ll never let us hang out there again.”

  “Who cares about the stupid tree house, Fee. You got hurt.”

  “But… what if they tear it down? That’s our secret hideout, Deac. Just yours and mine.”

  He looked at me from the corner of his eye. “We don’t need a secret hideout. As long as we got each other, that’s all that matters.”

  Chapter Five

  Fiona

  Pushing through the door of the restaurant, I unwound my scarf and shook off the cold from outside while scanning the tables in search of my friends. We got together once a week for lunch, no kids or men, just the girls. It had become tradition, and it was the perfect time for me to lay into them for sticking their noses in my personal life.

  The moment my eyes landed on them, I scowled, announcing my displeasure before skirting my way through the busy dining area.

  I hit the table and heard Sophia say, “Told you she’d still be mad. You each owe me twenty bucks.” She held her hand out to Daphne and Lola and wriggled her fingers. The two women rolled their eyes before slapping the bills into her palm.

  “Of course I’m still mad!” I declared, removing my coat and hanging it on the back of my chair. “You pimped me out to an imaginary do-gooder with a heart the size of Mother Teresa who doesn’t exist. And you did it in front of everybody, so backing out of this so-called blind date isn’t even an option. It’s only been two days and my mother’s already called, beside herself with excitement. She’s got it in her head that I’m going to be some fancy doctor’s wife. So yes, I’m mad. No…” I paused to give it some more thought, then added, “I’m pissed.”

  “In our defense,” Daphne started, holding her hands up in surrender, “the situation kind of got away from us.”

  I gave her a look of disbelief. “Got away from you? You created the whole mess!”

  “We were only trying to help. You looked so….” Lola’s bottom lip began to tremble. Pregnancy hormones had turned her into a raving lunatic. She cried at absolutely everything. Last week she split the seam of her favorite skirt trying to zip it up and lost her damn mind. She was inconsolable for hours. All because she kept trying to convince herself that she didn’t need maternity clothes yet.

  The woman was nearly five months pregnant and was naturally curvy as it was. She hadn’t fit in her pre-pregnancy clothes for the past two months, but none of us had the lady balls to tell her. “They started in on you about marriage and babies, and Deacon is the love of your life, but Leah was there, and you looked so sad, and… and….” She choked on a sob and clamped a hand over her mouth.

  “Here we go again,” Sophia groaned.

  Lola sniffled and waved her hands in front of her eyes. “Sorry, sorry. I’m stopping. Just give me a sec.” We all waited for her to get her shit together. Finally she closed her eyes on an inhale, opening them as she blew it out calmly through her l
ips. “Okay. I’m good.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing at my friend’s plight. When I was sure I had control, I finally spoke. “Look, I know you guys were just trying to help, but you really screwed me over here. I mean, can you imagine how heartbroken my mom will be when she finds out this guy isn’t real? I’m sure she’s already picking out china patterns and floral arrangements in her head!”

  “Okay, yes, so this is a little bit of a mess,” Daphne stated, a look of guilt on her face. “But just because we don’t know a guy like we described doesn’t mean he isn’t out there. This is Seattle, for Christ’s sake! If we put out some feelers, I’m sure we could line up a dude who has at least some of the qualifications we—”

  “Made up?” I finished for her.

  “Exactly!” Sophia cried. “Daphne’s right! If there’s anyone in this city who can track down a hot, sexy doctor who saves babies for a living, it’s us.”

  I highly doubted that, but I couldn’t bring myself to rain on their parade. Besides, despite my reservations, maybe this was just what I needed. I didn’t hold out hope for a blind date to turn out well, but maybe this could be my way of dipping my toe back into the dating pool. My feelings for Deacon hadn’t dwindled in the slightest, but he was getting on with his life. It was time for me to do the same.

  Finally, I relented with a huff. “Fine. But it’s your job to track this guy down and get the ball rolling. I’m not putting in any of the legwork, you hear me?”

  Lola squeaked excitedly, clapping her hands. “Yay! This is going to be so great.”

  I highly doubted that.

  I hated grocery stores. Like seriously hated them to the point that all that was in my fridge was a box of baking soda, half a case of soda, and something that might have been cheese at one time, but I wasn’t a hundred percent certain on that.