Defile (Civil Corruption Book 2) Read online

  “That’s because there’s nothing to deny!” I shouted, throwing my hands up in frustration. I’d officially had enough. “I don’t know why we’re even talking about this, or why you’re being such a jerk! But I’m done talking to you. Call me when you decide to stop being an asshole.”

  The bell rang right then, and kids started pouring into the hall as I stomped away. I wasn’t sure what Declan’s deal was, but as far as I was concerned, he was Amanda’s problem. Not mine.

  Since that very first night, back when we were only eleven years old, I had made sure to leave my bedroom window unlocked before I went to sleep. My best friend had a habit of sneaking into my room at night to wake me up when there was something on his mind. Normally I loved being the first person he wanted to share his thoughts and feelings with, but after how he’d treated me earlier, Declan Forrester was the last person I wanted to talk to.

  Later that night, I laid in bed, searching for sleep that refused to come. The fight we had played on repeat in my head. We’d barely had so much as an argument since we decided to be best friends under that tree on the playground years before.

  I told my heart to shut up, to stop aching over what had happened, but the damn stubborn organ refused to listen.

  When the sound of my window rattling hours later resonated through my dark, silent bedroom, I pulled the covers over my head and did my best to tune it out.

  “Tate,” Deck’s voice called out, muffled by the glass. “Tatum. Open up. It’s me.”

  Squeezing my eyes closed and slamming my hands over my ears, I tried to block him out, but the stupid jerk was persistent.

  “Tatum.” Tap, tap, tap. “Come on. Let me in.” Tap, tap, tap.

  Throwing the covers back with an annoyed huff, I stomped to the window and tossed the curtains aside so he could see me.

  “Something’s wrong with your window,” Declan said from the other side of the glass while trying to force it up.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I gave him a look that I hoped would burn his skin off. “Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s locked.”

  He actually had the nerve to look surprised. “What? Why’s it locked?”

  “Uh, I don’t know,” I started sarcastically. “Maybe because I don’t want to talk to you? Go away, Declan. I’m trying to sleep.” I pulled the curtains closed and started for my bed, but he just wouldn’t stop.

  “I’m not leaving until you talk to me, Tate. Just open the freaking window.”

  Something inside me snapped. I rushed back and yanked the curtains open. “Go bug Amanda,” I gritted. “I’m sure she’d be more than happy to let you in her bedroom window.”

  I moved to shut him out again when he said something that made me stop. “I broke up with Amanda today.” My hand was frozen in place as I stared into my best friend’s gray-blue eyes through the glass. “She said something about you that I didn’t like, and I went off. Then I dumped her in front of all the guys. Look, I’m sorry, Tate. I acted like a jerk earlier, and I came here to apologize. But I really don’t want to do it from here. Your dad could bust me hanging outside your window, and you know how much that man scares me.”

  He had a point. John Valentine was a big strong man who could intimidate almost anyone. My dad looked like he could bust a boulder apart just by glaring at it. The only people I’d ever seen him be gentle with were my mom and me, treating us like we were the finest china. Over the years, he’d managed to tolerate Declan, but if Dad knew he’d been sneaking through my bedroom window for years, I was pretty sure they’d never find Deck’s body.

  “Please, Tate. Just let me in. I can’t stand that you’re mad at me.”

  He looked and sounded so sincere that I couldn’t help but believe him. And the truth was I hated being mad at him too. More than anything in the world.

  With a heavy sigh, I flicked the lock and walked back to my bed as he slid it open, taking a seat on the edge of my mattress. Declan sat beside me a second later, looping his arm across my shoulders.

  “Please stop being pissed at me. I freaking hate it.”

  “I hate it too,” I whispered, laying my head on his shoulder. “But you deserve it.”

  “I know,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

  Pulling back, I looked up into his eyes. The strange blue reminded me of storm clouds rolling across the sky. “Why were you acting like that?”

  He looked away but didn’t loosen his hold on me. From so close, I could see the muscle in his jaw tick before he finally answered. “After you left, Mace started asking about you, like if you were single and stuff. He told the guys he thought you were hot, and that he was interested in you. I guess….” Declan pulled a long, deep breath in through his nose. “I just didn’t like it.”

  My chest got so tight it was hard to breathe. My heart started doing flip-flops behind my ribs, and my stomach had taken flight thanks to the butterflies inside of it.

  “Why?” I asked so quietly I was afraid he might not have heard me. But then he turned those stormy blues my way and answered.

  “Because I’m selfish. You’re mine, and I don’t want to share you. The thought of you dating another guy makes me want to put my fist through a wall. I don’t want you to be with anyone else because I want you to be with me.”

  My lungs squeezed at the same time I sucked in a gasp. He looked terrified by his admission, but I’d never been happier in all my life. I thought the best day of my life was the day Declan and I shook hands under that tree, agreeing to be best friends, but I’d been wrong. This was the best day of my life. Hands down.

  “I hate Amanda,” I said on a whisper.

  His shoulders slumped as he replied, “Yeah, she’s kind of a bitch.”

  “No. I didn’t hate her because of that… even though it’s totally true. I hated her because you were dating her. And I don’t want you to be with anyone else because I want you to be with me.”

  Declan’s eyes bugged out so wide I couldn’t help but laugh. “You mean that?”

  “Yeah,” I answered with a nod. “I’ve felt like that for a really long time now, but I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t think you’d feel like that about me.”

  “I definitely feel like that about you,” he said quickly. “So, no Mason?”

  “No Mason. I never even looked at him as more than a friend.”

  “Good,” Declan murmured, bringing up a hand to tangle in my hair. “Because you’re with me. And I’m not letting you go.”

  Then he gave me the second best kiss of my life. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that all the best kisses I’d ever have would come from him.

  All the best anythings that happened in my life would be because of Declan Forrester.

  Chapter Five

  Tatum

  Eighteen years old

  The windows of Declan’s truck were fogged up, the air thick from our heavy breathing. My skin was damp and sticky, but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

  “Fuck, baby. This truck’s too small. This shit has to stop. You deserve more than being nailed in the back seat.”

  Placing my hands on Declan’s bare chest, I rested my chin on top of them and smiled up at his sex-drunk expression. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to that look. It took him from naturally beautiful to downright gorgeous. The way his stormy eyes lay half-mast, glazed and slightly unfocused. How his entire face softened and warmed after he’d come.

  It had been three years. Three years since Declan and I had gotten together, since I gave myself to him in the most intimate way humanly possible. And he’d treated me like a queen every day since.

  “I don’t know,” I said on a giggle. “I kinda like it. Sneaking around makes it hot.”

  His face scrunched in a playful glare. “So, what? You’re sayin’ it’s old hot because we have to hide from your folks?”

  Looking up and to the side, I pinched my lips into a thoughtful expression. “Well, now that you mention it
—” My words were cut off by a loud squeal as Declan’s fingers came down to tickle my sides. “Okay, okay!” I shouted through my laughter. “I didn’t mean it! I promise!”

  He finally stopped tickling me, and when I got a hold of myself and looked up at his face, he was smiling beautifully.

  “You know I love you more than anything, right?”

  My heart sighed. “I love you too.”

  “More than anything?”

  It was the same thing he asked every time if I didn’t clarify from the beginning.

  “You know it, baby.”

  His head fell back and his eyes went to the ceiling of the truck in contemplation. “How long you think it’ll take your dad to stop hating me?” he finally asked a few minutes later.

  Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to respond that question. I didn’t know the answer myself. My parents always stressed the importance of going to college after high school, and yet there I was, a high school graduate with no intensions of college in my near future.

  The guys had been working their asses off, trying to make a name for their band, and I’d been doing everything in my power to help. I lined up gigs at every hole-in-the-wall bar from here to San Diego. The next six months of their lives would be spent traveling from city to city in a shitty van, sleeping in equally shitty hotel rooms, and playing their music for anyone who would listen. They couldn’t have been more excited.

  And I was going with them.

  When I told my parents the plans for my future, my mother had burst into tears and my dad had lost his mind. He blamed Declan for my decision, when that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Sure, I didn’t want him to leave me behind while he traveled the state and I headed off to college, but that wasn’t why I’d put my education on the back burner. The real reason was that I believed in my guys. I had every faith that, one day, they’d be huge, famous beyond their wildest expectations. And I wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to do everything I could to help them rise to that level. That was why I was going with them.

  “He’ll get over it eventually,” I whispered.

  Declan sat up, gently shifting me onto the bench seat beside him and tucking himself back into his jeans. Reaching to the floorboards, I picked up the T-shirt he’d discarded earlier and slipped it over my head to cover my nakedness.

  “I don’t blame him, you know. I get why he’s pissed. And if I wasn’t such a selfish bastard, there’s no fuckin’ way I’d let you go with us. But I am, and the thought of not having you with me all the time kills, baby. There’s no way I could do this without you by my side. None of it would matter for shit without you.”

  The self-deprecation in his voice made my throat tight. “Hey.” I scooted as close to him as I could, placing my palm on his chest. “Stop beating yourself up. Even if you’d tried to make me stay, I would’ve forced my way into that van. There’s no way in hell I’d have let you and the guys take this trip without me. This is just the beginning, Deck. This is going to be the start of our new lives. I can’t wait.”

  His arms came around me, squeezing tight like he was afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t hold on. “No matter what happens, I need you to make me a promise.”

  “Anything,” I answered instantly.

  Those storm cloud blues met my gaze, intensity and determination flashing back at me. “Never leave me, Tate. Even if all this bullshit ends up to be for nothing and we have to come back here. Even if I end up working as a mechanic like Will, or what the fuck ever, promise you’ll never leave me.”

  My mouth fell into a severe frown at the sound of his uncertainty. In the years we’d been together, it was as if Declan’s desire and love for me grew so much he couldn’t trust it. No matter what I said or how I acted, he seemed to have doubts, in himself and in me. He’d told me more than once that he knew I was too good for him, that one day I’d wake up and see I deserved better. What I couldn’t get him to understand was that there was no better out there for me than him. He was it.

  I think that was why he pushed himself and the guys so damn hard to succeed. I was afraid he wouldn’t feel like he deserved me until he had enough fame and fortune to give me whatever my heart desired. But I didn’t need any of that. I just needed him.

  “It’s you and me until the day we die,” I declared, taking his cheeks in my hands. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. I’m so in love with you, Declan, that some days I don’t know how to contain it. Sometimes I feel like it’s going to grow too big and burst from inside me, like the only thing holding me together is my skin.”

  His eyes slammed shut as he dropped his forehead to mine. “You and me, baby. Always and forever, you and me.”

  “You and me forever,” I told him.

  We stayed in that position for what felt like an eternity, whispering our conversation.

  “How’s Will feeling about everyone leaving?” I asked. I’d been unable to let go of the worry for my friend. After all, he was one of the founding members of the original Civil Corruption. But after discovering Mace’s talent on the guitar, he’d bowed out of the band, claiming he was only holding them back from real success. Will had been the drummer, but everyone knew Garrett was the better choice behind the kit. The only reason he wasn’t there was because Will couldn’t play the guitar if his life depended on it. Then Mace revealed his gift one day when the guys had been screwing around in Killian’s garage. The next day, Will informed them that he was quitting the band and said Garrett should move to the drums, with Mason taking over lead guitar.

  And the rest was history.

  Declan pulled away, dropping his head back against the seat, and began massaging his forehead.

  “He keeps saying he’s excited for us. I just wish he’d said yes when we asked him to come with us. Doesn’t feel right leaving him behind like this.”

  “I know,” I replied sorrowfully. “But you knew he’d never leave his folks and Lyla behind.”

  Will was amazing in pretty much every way possible, but it was his love and loyalty for his parents and little sister that made him one of the best men I’d ever known.

  “Yeah,” Declan sighed. “I know you’re right. Still doesn’t mean I don’t feel like shit about it.”

  “He’s happy. He loves it here, and he loves working at the garage. Cars have always been Will’s passion, Deck.”

  Declan laid back down on the bench, pulling me on top to rest. “Well it doesn’t really matter. As soon as we hit it big and start making money, we’re gonna force his ass to move wherever we set up roots. Even if we have to pay to ship his whole family with him. We’ll be together again, just like we’ve always been,” he stated while reaching down and grabbing the small tattered notepad and pencil he always kept within reach. I loved that damn notepad. It was where he kept his most personal, most meaningful thoughts before eventually turning them into some of the most beautiful, heart-wrenching lyrics I’d ever heard. And he shared every single one of them with me.

  I watched in fascination as he scribbled the word crimson at the top of a blank page.

  Then he started writing.

  Burning with passion, the intensity cuts like a knife

  Like the blood running through my veins

  My Crimson gives me life

  I’m tangled and twisted in her, content to live in my chains

  Without her passion and soul, only a shell of me remains.

  Pulling in a sharp breath, I read those lines over and over, knowing he was talking about me. Looking up into his eyes, I spoke the words that were stamped on my heart.

  “I’m her storm on the horizon, swirling blue and gray. I complete her, as she completes me. In every way.”

  That infectious smile of Declan’s finally made an appearance as he whispered, “See? There’s no way I could do this without you.”

  My face started to ache from the smile stretching across my lips. “Hush,” I said quietly. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I love you, Declan. Now write me
a beautiful song.”

  Chapter Six

  Declan

  Twenty years old

  “Holy shit,” Killian exclaimed, just as shocked as I was. “I can’t believe this.”

  It was happening. It was all really happening.

  “Believe it,” Chris replied with an oily grin. “Congratulations, boys. You’re officially the opening act for Crossbones’ North American tour.”

  Crossbones was an alternative rock band who’d hit the scene a couple years earlier and was really starting to make a name for themselves. Being the opening act for their shows was the foot in the door we’d been chasing for the past year and a half.

  What had originally started as a six-month road trip across Cali, hopping from one shithole bar to the next, had stretched into a year and a half thanks to our manager, Chris Evers.

  He’d approached us after watching us in San Diego, one of our last shows before heading back to San Francisco with our tales between our legs. We were officially out of money, and because of that, out of time. My heart was broken at the thought of going back. But then Chris appeared, promising that he could get us success if we signed with him.

  At first it had all seemed too good to be true. I had to admit, there was something about the dude that didn’t sit right with me. He was slimier than a used car salesman, and twice as slippery. But he’d lived up to his promise. For the past year, the five of us had been living in a crappy little studio apartment in LA, recording our first album, and playing at bigger bars where people who mattered could see us. We’d busted our asses, put in our time, and it was finally paying off. Now we were on a fucking tour with one of the fastest-growing bands in the US. As far as I was concerned, Chris Evers could be Satan himself—as long as he kept living up to his own hype, I was on board.

  Looking across the shitty apartment, I spotted Tatum sitting on the worn-to-hell couch Mace and I had found in the alley behind our building. I broke from the guys and headed toward my girl, scooping her into my arms and spinning her in a circle.