Fire & Ice (The Locklaine Boys #1) Read online

  As exhaustion from too much champagne and amazing sex began to pull me under, I curled my body around Griffin’s, falling asleep within seconds, a smile on my face.

  MY BODY WAS DELICIOUSLY sore. I ached in places I never knew existed. And I couldn’t have been happier. The sun still hadn’t fully risen outside, leaving my bedroom bathed in a soft, grayish-purple haze of pre-dawn light. I wasn’t sure what had woken me up so early, but I wasn’t going to question it. Griffin had woken me up more than once in the night for another round, so it was my turn to return to favor.

  Stretching my arms over my head, I released a soft groan and reached over for him, hitting warm sheets where his body had once been. Clutching the sheets to my naked body, I sat up and looked around the dimly lit room, only to find I was the only one in there. It was then that I realized what had woken me up.

  “Griffin?” I called out at the sound of my apartment door closing. Had he stepped out for breakfast? Or maybe coffee since I ran out a few days ago? When I didn’t get an answer back, I climbed from the bed, the sheet wrapped tightly around me, and started down the hallway. “Griffin, you here?”

  The bathroom was empty, so were the kitchen and living room. The front door closing wasn’t Griffin returning. It had been him leaving. And according to the note he’d left scrolled on a discarded napkin saying Had to get to work. See you around, he had no intention of bringing back coffee or breakfast.

  I could practically feel my heart cracking in my chest as my eyes brimmed with tears, blurring his scribbled writing as I read and re-read his note. Having no other choice, I climbed into the shower to start my day. I had a shop to open, my livelihood depended on it. There was no time to dwell on a crushed heart. My head was in a fog as I went about getting ready for the day.

  I was a reasonably-minded person. I didn’t walk around life with my head in the clouds, but when it came to Griffin, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was jumping to conclusions. Maybe I was reading too much into his note, and he just wasn’t much for words. Maybe he’d call and explain his hasty exit and everything would be okay.

  The day passed without a single call or text. There was no acknowledgment from him, whatsoever. My only saving grace was the fact that Fire & Ice was bustling from open to close, or else I probably would have spent the entire day yo-yoing between obsessing and crying.

  I didn’t hear from him or see him for a week. It was only by coincidence that I happened to run into him when I did. I’d been working as Rowan Locklaine’s personal shopper for a little less than a year. He was some big shot author and a good friend of my brother’s, so Dex had hooked me up with the job to help supplement my income while I got my boutique off the ground. Some new shirts I’d ordered for him had just come in, so after closing up for the night, I hopped in a cab and headed to his apartment.

  Juggling the garment bags in my arms to free up one hand, I knocked on his door and waited. It wasn’t all that unusual for a woman to open Rowan’s door, seeing as the man was a raging man-whore and had a different woman—or women—in his apartment almost nightly.

  “Who are you?” the blonde skank asked, her face scrunched up unattractively as she shot me attitude I was so not in the mood for.

  “Rowan here?” I asked on a huff.

  Slut-zilla crossed her arms underneath her gravity defying breasts. “Who’s asking?”

  With that, I was done. I had a busy week, I was in a shitty mood, and I just wanted to go home, not deal with one of Rowan’s whores. I let out an annoyed sigh as I shoved past her and into the apartment, ignoring her sputtering and cursing about how I wasn’t allowed to do that as I looked for Rowan so I could drop his shit off and get the hell out of there.

  “Rowan?” I called out as I headed down the hall toward the living room.

  I heard him answer, “In here, Pep.”

  “I’ve got those shirts you wanted me to order,” I spoke as I rounded the corner. “You got lucky this time. Next time I have to deal with one of your bitches I’m setting your shit on fi—”

  I came to a screeching halt in the doorway of the living room and the words dried up in my throat at the sight of Griffin sitting on the couch with a lean brunette in a barely-there dress practically sitting on his lap.

  “Pepper,” Griffin spoke in a soft, uncomfortable voice as he slid a few inches away from Slut Number Two.

  “Griffin,” I offered in a cool, emotionless voice.

  “Sorry about that,” Rowan said, coming up to take the bags out of my hands. “I didn’t hear you knock.”

  My chest grew tight as I forced myself to break eye contact with him, ignoring the flash of surprise and guilt in their icy depths. It seemed all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. “Yeah, well it better not happen again,” I told Rowan, making sure my voice sounded bored. I’d be damned if I let Griffin know how badly I was hurting right then. “This arrangement will work much better if I never have to deal with any of your haram. Deal?”

  Oblivious to the massive shift in the room, Rowan shrugged and gave me a casual grin that didn’t come close to meeting his eyes. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him in the past, but whatever it was, had turned him into some emotionally-repressed bastard. There were very few of us in his circle that he actually trusted, and I was only one of them because of my brother and the fact that I refused to take any of his shit.

  He was the yin to his cousin’s yang. Where Griffin was easy going and laid back, Rowan was hard and aggressive. They were total opposites… except when it came to one thing.

  Women.

  Over the years I’d heard plenty of stories about the Locklaine cousins from Dex. It was easy to see the playboy in Rowan because he never worked to hide it. I’d been working with him long enough to have had a few too many uncomfortable encounters already. But until that very moment, I’d always refused to believe it of Griffin. I never saw any of that behavior outright.

  Until just then.

  “You know, we’re headed to a club opening in the Meatpacking District if you want to go with us,” Rowan offered.

  My top lip curled in disgust as I looked at the women in the room, both dressed in a way that spoke volumes about what they were willing to do at the end of the evening, before finally coming to rest on Griffin.

  “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” I hissed. “I’m not up-to-date on my vaccinations, and who the hell knows what I could catch from this group.”

  I didn’t hang around long enough to hear what the any of them had to say. As I walked from Rowan’s apartment, I kept my head held high. I didn’t let myself cry. Instead, I got pissed, and I used that anger to bury the heartache deep.

  It was in that moment that I started to hate Griffin Locklaine.

  Because hating him hurt so much less.

  Present

  LOOKING AT MY WATCH on the elevator ride up to Navie’s apartment, I tried not to get distressed that Griffin still hadn’t texted. It was only ten in the morning. And he was probably busy. I tried my hardest to remain logical, but I couldn’t help but think that this was a repeat of what had happened four years ago. This wasn’t like last time, because my heart wasn’t involved. It was just sex. I could barely tolerate the man.

  And maybe if I kept telling myself that, I’d eventually end up believing it.

  The doors opened on Rowan and Navie’s floor and I stepped out, the carpeted hallway muffling the click of my high-heeled peep-toes on the ground.

  “Rowan? Navie?” I called loudly as I turned the knob and pushed the door opened. I balled up my fist and knocked hard on the wood for good measure. “You guys decent?” I hesitated in the foyer, counting to thirty before I took another step. “It’s Pepper!” I all but yelled as I cautiously moved inside the apartment. “If you’re not dressed, get that way! I’ve seen both of your naked asses one too many times! It would be seriously messed up if I walked in on you guys again. Especially having given you so much warning!”

  I was way too fa
miliar with my friends’ naked bodies for my liking. Why they felt it necessary to have sex on every available surface, during all times of the day, when they knew they had company coming over, was beyond me. I didn’t take that risk anymore. Whenever I came over, I made sure to make my presence known at least two minutes before stepping all the way in.

  “I’m in the kitchen!” Navie called back.

  “You better not be having sex in there, or so help me God, I’m never shopping for either of you again!”

  I heard Navie’s laughter before she answered, “It’s safe, I swear. Rowan isn’t even home yet.” With her reassurance, I pushed open the door and stepped into the kitchen.

  “What do you mean, he isn’t home?” I asked as I slapped the two garment bags down on the kitchen island. “That jerk-off knew I was coming! He does this every time I bring a tuxedo. I swear to God, your fiancé is a gigantic man-child. I don’t know how you intend to get him down that aisle if this is how he acts every time he has to try one on!”

  Navie grinned and popped a piece of the melon she’d been cutting up into her mouth. “I told him he could wear a suit for the wedding.”

  “Smart.” I stole a piece of honeydew and bit down.

  “I’m a genius. Didn’t you know?”

  I laughed around the fruit in my mouth. “How could I possibly forget? You are the one that made the illusive Rowan Locklaine chase you, after all. I’m pretty sure most of the women in Manhattan still hate you.”

  She shrugged. “What can I say? I’m irresistible like that.” Wiping her hands on a napkin, she pulled the garment bags toward her with a happy squeal. “Is this my dress for the benefit?” she asked, holding up the shorter of the two bags.

  “Yep. And it’s to. Die. For. Seriously, Rowan’s going to swallow his tongue when he sees you in it.”

  She did an adorable little hop as she pulled the bag off the island. “That’s the effect I was looking for. I’m gonna go try it on.”

  After she scampered off, I pulled out one of the barstools and plopped down, entertaining myself by eating the rest of the melon Navie had cut up. I heard the front door of the apartment open a few minutes later.

  “About time, asshole,” I called as I spun on the stool. “You know I just love waiting on your arrogant ass—” My words caught in my throat when the kitchen door pushed open revealing not only Rowan, but Griffin as well. A sweaty, disheveled Griffin. A sweaty, disheveled Griffin that I suddenly had the urge to lick all over.

  “Cut me some slack, Pep,” Rowan grumbled as he made his way to the fridge, taking out two bottles of water and tossing one to Griffin. “This bastard woke me up at the ass-crack of dawn to play basketball.”

  I only allowed myself a few seconds to gaze at Griffin, watching how his throat bobbed up and down as he drank from his water bottle. “Since when do I cut anyone slack for anything?”

  “Valid point. So where’s my little pain-in-the-ass?” he asked before looking down at the other bag on the island. The look on his face said he’d rather have been trying on a bright orange prison jumpsuit.

  “She went to try on the dress I brought over with the tux.”

  His face lit up like a five-year old on Christmas morning. “I should go see if she needs help with the zipper.”

  “Ah, ah, ah.” I put my palm to his chest and stopped him. “Take the tux with you to try on. I have to make sure no more adjustments need to be made before next week.”

  “Yes, Warden,” he sighed, taking the bag from my hand and pushing past me.

  “And that dress is dry clean only!” I shouted over my shoulder, knowing exactly what would happen once he entered their room with Navie wearing that dress. “You better be careful with her!”

  With Rowan’s departure, my entire body, already painfully aware of Griffin’s presence, hummed with electricity once we were alone.

  I didn’t know how to act. Was he going to pretend as though it never happened? Would he kiss me? Which Griffin was I going to get this time around? I was overthinking everything that had happened between us just last night and turning myself into a neurotic mess.

  “You know, you showing up everywhere I am is starting to get a little stalker-y,” I joked lamely.

  “Stalker-y,” he smiled as he moved in my direction. “Is that even a real word?”

  “Sure it is,” I shrugged.

  He was still moving as he said, “Then use it in a sentence.”

  “Oh look, there’s Ted Bundy. That dude’s totally got a stalker-y vibe.”

  “Ah, well there you go. Definitely a word.”

  My lips parted on a smile as I laughed. “Told ya. What are you doing?” I asked as he used his body to press me against the island.

  “Well, if you’d stop talking for a second, I’m actually about to kiss you.”

  All of those insecurities I’d felt earlier blew away like ashes in a breeze. He wasn’t going to avoid me. If anything, based on the look in his eyes, he was hungry for more. My gaze flittered over his shoulder to the kitchen door. “But—”

  “My guess they’ll be busy for at least half an hour before either of them come back. And if I don’t touch you in the next five seconds, I’m gonna lose my fuckin’ mind.”

  “But you’re all sweaty.” I scrunched up my nose in mock-distaste and leaned away from him.

  “You love it,” he smirked, pressing in closer.

  “You know, you’re kind of making a habit out of pinning me in place.”

  “Damn right I am,” he growled, running his nose along my throat. “If you didn’t make a habit out of running away from me, I wouldn’t have to pin you down.”

  “What are you talking about?” I sighed just as I dropped my head to the side, giving his mouth better access to my neck. “I haven’t made a habit of running from you.”

  “Bullshit,” he chuckled against my skin. “You bolt from the room pretty much any time I walk into it. You’ve avoided me like the plague for the past four years. If that’s not running, I don’t know what is.”

  It was like a bucket of ice cold water had been suddenly dumped on me. Having felt me freeze solid against him, Griffin pulled his head back to look down at me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  The concern in his voice normally would have melted some of the ice away, but not this time. “I think maybe this was a mistake.”

  At my attempt to push him away Griffin’s hold got even tighter. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

  “No,” I bit out, giving him solid mass a shove. He didn’t budge an inch. “I’m not fuckin’ kidding you. Now move the hell out of my way.”

  He leaned back, but didn’t let me go. One of his arms wrapped around my waist while he used the other to gesture. “See, this is the shit I’m talking about, right here. You’re fucking running.”

  “I’m not running!” I snapped. “This isn’t me running! This is me being pissed off that you’d have the nerve to throw the last four years in my face when you fucking know why I didn’t want to have anything to do with you. This is me realizing that you’re still the exact same asshole you’ve always been. Now. Move.”

  His face got soft as he squeezed me tighter. “Pepper—”

  “No!” I interrupted. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t even want you touching me, Griffin. I’m serious, you need to let me go.”

  “I can’t do that, baby.” His refusal, combined with the soft sweetness of his voice only made me madder.

  “Griffin…” I warned, but he wasn’t finished.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, stunning me momentarily silent. In all the years that’d passed, he’d never once apologized for how he’d left things. “It’s a shitty thing for me to say now, and it was an even shittier thing to do back then. I’m sorry, Pepper. It was never my intention to hurt you like that, and I hate myself for doing it.”

  That took some of the wind out of my sails, but not enough for me to forgive him, at least not completely. “You still needed to let me go,” I repea
ted, quieter this time.

  “We need to talk about that night. I know it’s my fault we haven’t in the past, but we need to now. Especially if we’re sleeping together again.”

  I let out an indelicate snort. “You say that like it was actually something substantive about what we did four years ago. Again would indicate it had been more than a simple hit-and-run for you.”

  “Goddamn it, Pepper,” he rumbled. His crystal eyes flashing with anger as he threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling just enough for the sting of pain to register.

  Before he could say anything else, the kitchen door swung open and a shirtless Rowan rushed toward the fridge. “Don’t mind me. Just need to grab a couple things.” He came out of the fridge with a bottle of chocolate syrup and a can of whipped cream. “The clothes fit great, Pepper. And don’t worry, they’re tucked away, safe in the closet.” Then he was gone.

  I came out of my statue-like state a few seconds later. “Oh my God,” I whispered.

  “Pepper…”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Pep.”

  “He saw us, Griffin! He’s gonna start asking questions.”

  “He knows.”

  “He—wait, what? What do you mean, he knows?”

  He let out a deep breath and finally let me go, backing up and resting his hips against the counter opposite me. “I mean, he knows. I told him.”

  I was speechless for several seconds, then asked, “Why would you do that?”

  Griffin placed his palms on the counter at his sides, the biceps and triceps in his arms flexing with the movement in a way that would have snatched up all my focus if what we were discussing wasn’t so serious. “I tell Rowan everything,” he answered simply. “Besides Dex, he’s the one person who knows me the best. And there was no way in hell I was gonna talk to your brother about this.” His hand waved back and forth between us. His comment felt like a knife to the gut.

  Just as I suspected, once again, I wasn’t worthy of anything more than the scraps he’d thrown my way. The only difference between then and now was the fact that I knew this time around. And I’d be damned if I fell into that trap again.